You Goddamn Nerds Ruin Everything

Just once JUST ONCE I would like for something good to come out that doesn’t get backlash like the CG is awful or everything is “woke” or all the racists and misogynists and all come out of the woodwork and pee on everything because… well, I don’t know why. Racism and misogyny, I suppose. But for some reason there are sections of the audience that just craps on everything without an ounce of self-awareness or showing their work and I don’t remember everybody being so stupid.

In the last twenty-four hours, I had to tell someone AGAIN who was giving me shit that you can be monumentally disappointed in the four seasons of STAR TREK: DISCOVERY (with a few standout episodes here and there, of course) that have nothing to do with the lead character. Sure, there are folks peeing in the ST pool who are racist and misogynist and “own the libtards” and everything, but let’s not assume somebody like me who has AD NAUSEUM outlined all my various disappointments with that show agree with that. They pronounce Sarek’s name incorrectly, children. Please don’t accuse me of “hating” the show because Martin-Greene is the lead. I’ve written four years of columns about all my disappointments in that show to the point where I don’t even like writing about STAR TREK, anymore.

In the last twenty-four hours, I tried to explain to some FOR ALL MANKIND fanboy that just because he wanted to hear some more about the North Korean commander that he hasn’t been “robbed” of anything. I mean, I don’t understand these kind of criticisms. Even in the age of bingeing, the audience doesn’t experience the whole story all at once, so I don’t get why audience members sometimes feel “robbed” that something isn’t explained to their satisfaction RIGHT NOW. Either it doesn’t matter to the main story, or, as I assume in the case, it’s a story point that will be explored in Season 4, or whatever, and we just have to wait for it to revealed. Either way, we haven’t been cheated or swindled or robbed of anything.

“Plenty of scenes where I was not looking at my tv because it went into soap opera mode that I believe would have been better spent exploring this part of the story.”

Yeah, I get that people think that; I just don’t get that one as a valid criticism, because there are professional, award-winning veteran television writers doing their jobs. And then a guy sitting on his couch wants something different or thinks he can do better or doesn’t want to wait for an answer in the next chapter of this novel-for-television? Cool.

…and in the last twenty-four hours, I had to read about a pal of mine who works at the Wizarding World of Harry Potter try to make people understand that JK Rowling doesn’t own magic and not taking your kids to Universal City Studios to have some fun isn’t lining her pockets after the initial licensing deal and that to boycott folks (many of whom are LGBTQ+ themselves) who are just trying to bring joy to people isn’t the straight-forward message you think you’re sending in this complex and nuanced world.

I mean, EVERYTHING, EVERYWHERE, ALL AT ONCE has a female Asian Lead and a mostly Asian cast. There’s even a gay couple, but none of the usual suspects uttered a peep What do you figure that’s about? On the other hand, these boys are going after SHE-HULK, of all things. I was going to spout today about how just charming and entertaining and fun-to-watch it is, but I’d be preaching to the choir here while the people who need to read the note would reject it out of hand if they were to see it at all. I’m not sure if the incels are watching the same end credits scene as I am, based on their breathing through clenched teeth responses, but that whole ep was just a satisfying blast. Wong sort of disheveled and not about justifying things to John Law but still showing up… exasperated, but, still… was great. Give me some more Wong.

…and I’ll just leave you with this no-brainiest of no-brainers from Todd Gross: “If the final post credits scene of the series is not She-Hulk and Deadpool doing a very meta bit, I will be incredibly angry and dissatisfied with Marvel.” Right? I mean, I want a scene where they both realize the meta self-referential breaking of the fourth wall is unique to both of them, that they both do it but are reaching two different audiences.

BECAUSE THAT WOULD BE REALLY META

“Who are you talking to?”

“Who are YOU talking to?”

“Oh, you know. Enlightened MCU fans willing to take the ride. You?”

“Um… Hard Seltzer Steve.”