Friend of the show Eli Schwab and I were talking on the Electronic Arguing Machine about the latest STAR TREK trailer for Season Four and he said, “The trailer was full of wonder, interesting looking planets, classic aliens, great characters, Giancarlo Esposito, and the makings of a great season,” which, on the face of it, is true. I mean, it’s almost objectively true, in that the editor cut together a rockin’ trailer. I’m with Eli, all the way to the end of his sentence. “The makings of a great season”? Absolutely not. That trailer crushes it… with the sound off.
So, sure, Las Vegas planet, Spock telling Kirk he loves him with soulful looks in front of a Vulcan “hang in there baby” motivational poster, a shot Pike to remind everybody that this is technically an adventure show that takes place ten years before Spock and Kirk pon farr despite Kirk being a lieutenant on the Farragut now, a buncha stuff blowing up, space cowboys, dinosaurs, another Robin Hood planet, Shouty Spock, beam me up into a puppet, what nonsense, because you know every single cool shot here is just a da Vinci serving you a tea biscuit. Come on, STAR TREK! You invented boldly going, you invented a show having a devoted, mobilized fanbase, you invented social commentary at the end of a phaser.
You guys are spending two hundred dollars on a three pound lobster and a thirty-six pounce steak and delivering a room temperature Whopper, Jr. with STAR TREK on the wrapper and you aren’t fooling anyone.
Anyway, see you July 23rd.
