HomeTelevisionCoke, or Pepsi? It doesn't matter. Tolkien, or Amazon? WHY NOT BOTH?

Coke, or Pepsi? It doesn’t matter. Tolkien, or Amazon? WHY NOT BOTH?

As a dude who doesn’t care about which flavored sugar water he has at a party or which computer system you use or less filling or tastes great or as the genre guy you know who doesn’t care about elves and unicorns and all that, I have to say I love RINGS OF POWER for all the reasons you probably hate it.

I’m not a Tolkien fan much less a scholar so the NOT TRUE TO SOURCE MATERIAL fanboy thought doesn’t enter my brain. I have no warm thoughts about the characters and situations… and, after two years in quarantine watching every action movie ever made with a teenager who hasn’t seen them all three times like his father, I’m freakishly, uncharacteristically down with the slow pace and thoughtful delivery of lines from actors who are all great except they couldn’t get somebody with a longer face to play young Elrond? Hugo Weaving is an electric presence even when he’s elfing it up and this Charlie Brown headed guy is taking me a while to get used to.

I love the wood elves’ Green Man armor and I read a TREATISE by some fool who laid out how there would never be dark skinned elves of any kind because for ten thousand years or some shit Elf Land didn’t have a sun to activate the melatonin so that doesn’t make sense and all I could think was Ismael Cruz Cordova is FANTASTIC so I’m not so up Tolkien’s ass that that even sounds like a criticism that should enter anybody’s mind to me but whatevs.

Galadriel, Arondir, and Nori Caveman Hobbit are all RIVETING as the leads of their particular plot threads and even *I* know that guy who Kal El-led it in is Gandalf, so you can keep everybody straight and remember everybody’s name, and if you think the follow-up to LAME OF THRONES is all that go watch that and enjoy it.

All I get out of that is you want to go to war over Coke and Pepsi and, you know, that’s why there’s two of them. So the people who like flavored sugar water can have a choice or drink both or whatever you flavored sugar water people do. I took a bath in ginger ale once in college and told the girl it was champagne, so maybe you people who won’t shut up about how shitty the dragon CG are are doing something like that, I don’t know.

I just am amazed I can keep one of these LO AND THEN IN THE FIRST AGE, THE PEOPLE CAME TO SEE THE KINGS OF THE NORTH bullshit straight for once. Nice, clean storytelling, RINGS OF POWER writers.

I just don’t see how Green Lantern is going to show up.

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Larry Young
Larry Young
Larry Young is a writer: non-fiction, graphic novels, and pop culture criticism. His work has appeared in ENTERTAINMENT WEEKLY, VARIETY, and THE YEAR’S BEST SCIENCE FICTION. A frequent guest on the video podcasts MILLION DOLLAR MAILBOX and WORD BALLOONS, he’s also co-host of SERIOUS STAR TREK and the sister YouTube channel of this website.


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